Gordan Gekko aan de lijn voor The Wolf of Wall Street. De praatjesmakers halen hun beste one-liners uit de oude doos. Maar belt de Meester naar zijn leerling voor een old boys talk of is hij een man met een missie?

JB: Mr. Gekko! Long time no see. What are you up to?

GG: Sailing the Bahamas, kid. Like I do every midwinter. Got myself a new boat, it’s 125 feet of unmatched extravagancy.

JB: I’ll fucking top that. Wait and see.

GG: How’s your wife?

JB: You wouldn’t fucking believe who I’m dating right now: Naomi Lapaglia. I quote one of my friends: “She’s so fucking hot I’d let her give me AIDS”.

GG: Having sex with her is like reading the Wall Street Journal. Except the Journal don’t talk back. Ask her how I know. How are things at Stratton Oakmont? Read about you in Forbes. Any good stories?

JB: Things are fucking awesome. We are the talk of the town. And we make millions. The year I started Stratton Oakmont I earned 49 million dollars. It kind of pissed me off since because it was 3 shy of a million a week. But anyway, that was only the first year. The company is skyrocketing now. And so is my bank account.

GG: I must admit you do have some very persisting sales guys up there, kid.

JB: I wrote them the best script. My guys are fucking telephone terrorists, Gekko. They don’t hang up the phone until the customer either buys or fucking dies! They will take this company into the fucking stratosphere. And we changed strategy. Basically, now trick filthy rich guys into buying penny stocks. You know what I’m talking about? Pink paper trash from never-to-be companies. Steve fucking Madden stocks with nothing to it except huge commissions for us. And we own 85% of them so the cash always comes back to us. It’s a fucking joke!

GG: That’s insider trading, pal. You make me proud.

JB: I got it all covered, Gekko. Remember, I learned from the best ;). My accountants have come up with a cover-up scheme so ingenious I don’t even fucking how it works. And I\m becoming pretty good in money laundring myself. I used European hookers to smuggle tens of millions of dollars in cash to this banker prick in fucking Switzerland. Can you believe we had actually truckloads of dollars taped to their bodies?

GG: Time for you to be sent back to the normal world, pal.

JB: The normal world? Who wants to live there? I’d rather put a gun in my mouth. This company is my golden ticket to Charlie’s Chocolate Factory. I wanna be with the fucking Oompa Loompa’s. I have a white Ferrari. I have my own jet. I snort cocaine out of women’s asses. I am rich like hell and there’s no way back. There’s no nobility in poverty, Gekko. I now have my own movie made, Scorsese directing. How’s that for a middle-class sucker from the Bronx?

GG: I had my own movie 26 years ago, pal. And maybe you should see it again, Jordan. Recall what I said about greed? Greed, for the lack of a better word, is good. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of evolutionary spirit. Greed in all of its kinds, greed for money, for life, for love, for knowledge, has marked the upward surge of mankind. But I also said there’s such a thing as becoming too greedy. Especially when it comes to other people’s money. Or my money, for that matter. Because guess who else your greedy little friends got into buying those crappy, fucking Steve Madden stocks?

JB: Deal with it. Never get emotional about stock, Gekko.

GG: You sandbagged me on Steve Madden, Belfort. I‘m losing millions. I guess you think you taught the teacher a lesson, that you can make the tail wag the dog, huh? Well let me cue you in: the ice is melting under your feet, pal. You got me into this company, and you damn well better get me out. Because if you don’t the only job you’re going to get on the Street is sweeping it! You hear me, Belfort? You think you could’ve gotten this far this fast with anybody else? You think you could be out there dicking somebody like Naomi? No, you’d be cold calling dentists and widows to buy twenty shares of some dog stock!

JB: That’s the way the game is played. You win some, you lose some. Because there’s one quote I do remember from that stupid movie of yours: “A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place”. Can’t do nothing for you, Gekko, even if I wanted to. We sold them all.

GG: You made a big mistake. But thanks for your openhearted talk, pal. I have a good friend who might be very interested in some of these confessions of yours. And he will get them first hand, how’s that for a trick?

JB: ?

GG: My phones still have wires, kid. And I don’t mean those funny curly ones. Anyway, his name is Patrick Denham, you might be hearing from him. You see, when you sail on a boat fit for a Bond villain, sometimes you need to play the part, right?

Published in 2014 for Cineville Magazine.